After spending a warm winter in Mexico, I return to a deliciously sprouting springtime in Northern California. And with me comes a knowing, finally and clearly, that my life is sourced from where I put my attention. Do I have my attention on fears and resentment? On love and gratitude? Where does my attention rest?
Life has filled her cornucopia for me. She does not require my effort. She only asks me what I want. She does not even care what I want. She fills my cup regardless. Why/How does such a generosity exist? It is beyond understanding. Often, these days, my attention is on this grand mystery, and the gifts of life pour in. I call it Grace.
The other morning I was walking on the beach with my friend Robin, who among her considerable talents is a midwife and poet of Cowgirl Haiku. She asked if I knew of the series: “Call the Midwife”. “No” I responded, making a mental note to check it out. When I returned to my riverside cabin my eyes fell on a little cup by my desk. It had a few things stuffed in it. Since I have been cleaning and sorting for a yard sale, I peeked inside: paper clip, post-its, a rose quartz bead and a thumb drive. I put the thumb drive into the usb port on my computer. What appeared in the menu? Several episodes of “Call the Midwife”. Intrigued, I watched the first episode. At the end the heroine says: “ I had begun to see what love could do. Love brought life into the world. Love had the power to break hearts and to save. Love was like midwifery – the very stuff of life. And I was learning to fly with it – like the river to the sea.“
This past March, Alice Walker came to Casa Luz, our Community Center in Mexico. Alice read from her book: “We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For”. I was happy there was Kleenex nearby! Her words carried me as if I were a river seeking my own sea. She was not speaking about my life, yet she “spoke me”. My entire life’s voyage found a kind of integration in those moments. It was visceral. I was audibly sighing. My internal waters moved. The first 35 years of this “life” and the second 35 years became integrated in an instant. How can it be that this woman, reading about her own life and insights, could evoke such an epiphany in me? How is it that I found my way to that chair by the Kleenex – to listen and receive her wisdom and to recognize that it is my own? Grace.
All of us, every one of us, have the privilege of receiving life’s graceful flow of abundance. We can trust that! The hard times and the good times – all gifts from life – are for our deepest benefit. We need not worry or be concerned. We float in the lap of Creation. She is our mother. And She is who We are.