How to choose your wedding officiant


Nansee as she performs a Wedding Ceremony at Grand Bay Marina.
Nansee as she performs a Ceremony

Your wedding is a very special opportunity to speak your love for one another, to join your friends and family together in love and support, and to state your deepest intentions for your shared life. The person you choose as your minister or officiant can skillfully anchor and express your most heartfelt intentions in words. These words can bless and inspire you and your guests as you embark on this new journey together.

When interviewing various people who might serve as your officiant, you will want to know that they will honor your values, will speak with a kind and audible voice, and will work with you to find just the right words.

First, get clear about what values you want to express in your ceremony. Do you prefer a man or a woman to officiate? Do you have bilingual or bi-cultural guests who need to be included in a special way? Do you want references to nature, to God, to a certain religion or belief?

When you are ready to start interviewing officiants, here are some things you might ask them:

~ First of all, are they available on your chosen date and time?

~ Do they have a website you can view?

~ Will they supply some sample words for you to look over – an example of the kind of ceremony they perform?

~Will they be ok if you want to write your own vows, or add poetry, music, special guest participation, etc,  to the            ceremony?

~Do you have final say over the ceremony content?

~Are they willing to travel to a place you choose?

~What is their fee? Does the fee include a rehearsal? (In my experience you only need to you have bridesmaids and groomsmen)

~Can you work on the telephone and via email if meetings in person are not possible?

As you read the above list, you may have additional questions that come up. Make a note of them. When you interview your potential officiants, ask your questions and state your needs. You will learn about their natural way of relating and their willingness to collaborate with you and honor your wishes. You do not need to decide on the spot. Interview a few people and tell them you will get back to them if you want to proceed.